Today I'm reviewing the 2018 Disaster / Crime film, The Hurricane Heist, directed by Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious / XXX ) and stars Maggie Grace, Melissa Bolona, and Toby Kebbell. As the town of New Hope, Alabama prepares for a record-breaking hurricane, the town has another problem when 30 well-armed mercenaries show up to steal $600 million dollars from the local Federal Reserve. I knew this film was going to be pretty terrible, but it ended up being a hundred times worse than I expected. I don't have any pros whatsoever for this film. From start to finish, it was near unwatchable. I couldn't even finish it in a full sitting. The acting by everyone in this movie were beyond atrocious! The dialogue don't make any sense. There's a part in the film where our two main protagonists (during a hurricane and a heist that's in progress) sit down and have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! When our two heroes are in gun battles, while trying to survive the hurricane, they manage to find time to talk about their past lives, which makes the scenes feel cringy. Hell, they don't even have any chemistry. The dialogue is heavily misplaced in every scene. The writing is beyond terrible. It feels like they're going in circles during the entire movie. The villains are so bland as if they had a child write them. The CGI is absolutely bad, like Syfy channel bad. Take the CGI from Sharknado and place it in last year's disaster film Geostorm, then you've got this film. The hurricane looks fake as hell. One of our protagonists keeps seeing a skull appearing in the hurricane, which had me asking, why did they put this in the film? It's supposed to be a real-life disaster, not a fantasy film!I'm no weather specialist by far, but last time I've checked, a hurricane won't cause a 1000 foot tsunami! However, they could cause storm surges. I've seen some people say that this film is not trying to take itself too serious, but I heavily disagree. While feeling like a low-budget B-rated film , the story still plays out very serious. Now for my biggest question, how did this get a theatrical release? It's something I'd expected to find in a $2 bin at Wal-Mart. It tries too hard to be a 90s throwback, but even in that decade it'd be considered dogs**t. If you want a good disaster / heist film, watch Hard Rain starring Christian Slater and Morgan Freeman. I definitely don't recommend this film at all. It should've been called Brain Cells Heist. It literally stole most of my brain cells.
Final Grade:
What were your thoughts on this film? Leave me a comment below and I'll see you on the next review.